It Started

It started out on a Tuesday 
God only knew where this was taking us

the only way I let you come through was 'cause my heart let you

all my friends telling me you're the ass hole, I should let you go 

but fuck what they say, 'cause it's my choice on what I want to do

It doesn't seem like we're meant to be, so why must my heart still yearn for you?

a voice repeats in my head and says that I should have never let you 

but then the whisper of an angel says to welcome you

Can't God bless me with  a little more luck?

I'm frightened

with the thought of loosing you

then again we don't know, maybe that's how God wanted this to all go

this some real shit, I've never experienced

am I in love? What is this love thing all about anyway?

so I think, where will this take us now?

will it have a happy ending like those disney movies we watch?

am I wasting precious time? 

simply letting time tic-toc tic-toc?

I mean, I don't like using the word love 

because I grew up thinking I'd never experience love 

Let me admit something to you, you deserve to know, you are my first love

I struggle with my feelings now and then 

there's one side of me that will say something

and then there's the other side of me that will say something else, there's my heart and then there's my brain

I'm only 16, is this realy what it seems?

lets hope it's a dream, maybe it's a night mare, I'll scream 

how could it be possible for us to keep the fire between us burning without getting inflamed? you would never be capable to explain

you can try to, but I doubt you will be able to

words don't mean a damn thing

you're always talking about your past and other girls you've crushed on

yet I'm the only one still on your mind

I ask myself, why must I keep this going on? 

I don't even know what I am to you, I'm quite lost

I feel insecure about us having something special one day

who are we kidding, you're a young talented gentlemen that sees beautiful  young ladies everyday, they could steal you

what am I even tryna say? I hope you get what I'm tryna say

you know, I don't make sense when I try to explain my emotions

it's like I'm a foreign student who is trying to understand what the teacher is saying 

final question is, do we have something special that keeps us strong?

I need to open up to you, then maybe I wouldn't have to go to sleep at night with all these questions haunting me

then maybe I wouldn't have to go to your friends or my friends to ask them what to do

I could stay up for days thinking about you

boy, you're fucking up with my mental with all this

I may be over reacting, but that's just me 

I can try to change but I rather stay the same

you can love me with flaws and all

if not, forget you, I can do better than you

God keeps telling me to do what I want to do, 

I want you, the feeling I get when I'm besides you, 

all your intimate kisses, bringing a smile upon my face, to feel the warmth of your hugs is amazing

all the memories we've had has been engraved into my heart that replay in my playlist

as much as I'd like to erase them in my brain, my heart decides to hold them

damn. I realized everything has a purpose behind it

God brought you in my life for a purpose, we met and we both stayed on purpose

to think by now we would have said our final goodbyes

just know that you are on my mind

I want you, I really do,
love is war and we can't have victory without going through injuries